Moving on

So many times we think back on the past and realize that one decision we made was not the best one with what we know now. And then the self blame and guilt comes and overshadows our mental acuity. For a while, we are paralyzed by what we perceive to be a mistake. What we too often forget is that we made that specific decision with the information we had at the time and therefore it was the best one we could make then.

When I was an active airline pilot, every six month we had to go through a simulator that was sometimes quite a grueling experience. We were confronted with some problem (or series of) we needed to solve but the information we had to get the best results were not immediately available to us. As the simulator session progressed, we got new information that we processed to help us make a new decision. A better one with the details we just updated in our database. The technique we were taught was Assess — Action — Manage. In other words, we needed to gather information about the system malfunction or weather deterioration or whatever the case was for the scenario and make a primary decision. That very first decision was only there to insure the immediate safety of the flight and continue to either destination or an alternate that we chose with the criteria available at the time of the malfunction. Then we had to Action our first decision. An example would have been a rerouting to an alternate airport as continuing to destination would have been unsafe. We therefore calculated the fuel needed to go there, checked that the weather was suitable and that the calculated landing performance with the current weather conditions was giving us enough margin of safety. Once we checked all this information we would Action that decision.

Then came the time to pull our seat back, take a deep breath, order a coffee and look at things from a different perspective. We shared with our colleague a resume of what the problem was, how we analyze its impact on other systems on our aircraft and how we were mitigating the problem to a safe conclusion. It was time to ask the other pilot to come in the decision process and reassess the situation. Many times by just taking a deep breath, we avoided making mistakes and updated the data available to us to support or deny our initial decision.

The third part of our decision making was Manage. Once the initial decision was made and put into action, it was time to check that it worked and that it was the best, safest, most elegant way to solve the problem. Many times over, the initial decision was modified and improved to a safer outcome or more economically productive one. Never did we feel guilty or second guessed our abilities about the initial decision. We just moved on and went back to the first assess part of our decision making. Why are we not able to do that in life? Why do we seem to love the self blaming mentality and berate ourselves for decision we made that turned out to be flawed later on? I just think that our human nature gets too emotional and our cultural approach to success handicaps us and keeps us in the critical mode. What we need to do is realize that life is a great adventure and that there is no perfect solution to the challenges that come along our way. Living in the moment and allowing ourselves to let go of the past and the decisions we made then to just live in the present and assess — action — manage could be a great way to keep our balance and sanity…